Unlocking the Safe for True Connection
I feel like I’m healing. As scenes from my past are all starting to come together and make sense, and I can draw a line between denial and reality, I am taking the steps I need to let go, and learning how to communicate better with the ones who I feel safe with.
In the storm of everything, I called on a friend who lives safely overseas - because my trust had been shattered, I needed to call on someone who could only have pure intentions and an ocean between us felt safe. He has also always extended that offer to talk...I just rarely was the person to ever reach out first.
As the pain got too heavy to bear on my own, I finally reached out and he has been walking me out of the trenches since...spending a full day texting me on the phone if I needed...checking in here and there...and doing all the things that I never would have asked for myself before because I felt unworthy and unable to trust others’ hidden agendas. But I was so overwhelmed with pain and confusion, I had no option but to ask for support.
As my trust has been coming out of its shell, yesterday I asked him:
Will you promise me something though...as I’m trying to heal and trust people again...that you just won’t leave me without an explanation. I’m not saying you have to talk to me every day or anything like that. But just don’t completely abandon me with no explanation.
And he responded:
Of course I wouldn't do that.
It was so healing feeling safe enough to be able to say exactly what I needed from somebody and get my needs met. I felt the safest I have ever felt with someone, not because they told me they loved me, but because they showed it. And then I realized, that one request was the one request I never had the chance to ask, but at last felt safe enough to say it out loud. And I feel a calmness like never before.
Communication is the key to connection. And connection is the key to keeping the human spirit alive and well.