Joshua Tree

I came out to Joshua Tree for it’s simplicity...it’s easy to be with myself here. And I cried, and cried, and wailed like a baby...and listened to music, and wrote, and cried, and laid in bed, tucked in the warmth of my sleeping bag, and went on a few little walks through the dirt, but this time I felt like I was with my mother for the first time. And I didn’t want to share her with anybody. I just wanted to be alone with her and catch up. She let me cry, and be angry and she was angry along side with me, and she let me go through the emotions that I needed to and just stuck with me, made me feel safe, and like she cared, and soothed the guilt and shame I had, and then we would laugh at silly things, and then we would take breaks from all the hard stuff, and she would speak to me with wise and pure words and fill me with courage, and I would speak back to her in a little childlike voice that hadn’t been heard in a very long time, and then I watched her make fire with the video she took of herself - over, and over, and over, and felt like I saw who she was for the very first time and realized she was with me all along, pushing me, protecting me, and loving me. And she never had to say she loved me, not even once, because I felt it.

       

1 comment

  • Hey Hei Jung,
    I just read every single one of your blog posts and I’m not even on social media anymore. 😆 You’re one of my most favorite people Hei Jung and I know I’m the worst about keeping in touch especially when it comes to talking on the phone but I’m going to call you on your new number this weekend and I hope you answer! I especially liked your post about making it a priority to reach out to people because it’s as important as eating and exercise. I needed to read those words so thank you! I love you 🤟💕 for your courageousness, brevity, vulnerability, and creative endeavors. Can’t wait to catch up! xo

    Ruby

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