If Only We Could Hide Forever
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this dog. I’ve tried everything to give him a happy life. I even built this van for us so we could be able to go on walks and he could have as much time out in the world as any other dog. But yesterday, after 4 nights in the Canadian wilderness, I needed a night with cell service, a shower after 3 weeks of being eaten by mosquitoes, and just a moment of comfort. We came back to the states and after letting Malcolm run free for an hour at a 22 acre Sniffspot, I got us an Airbnb for two nights. I asked the host if dogs were visible from the house and she insisted it was private.
After not even an hour of being there, Malcolm spotted a dog, slipped out of his harness which I had never seen him do, didn’t think was possible, wiggled out as if he had done it a hundred times, and gunned it toward the dog. He immediately started attacking it - for no reason at all. The owner of the other dog started beating him trying to get him off and as quick as I could, I reached Malcolm and pulled his hind legs out from under him which released his grip from the other dog. The woman walking her dog was of course angry and in shock, as I would be too if the roles were reversed, and her dog seemed okay, but after that experience who knows what behavior issues might arise for that poor dog. All I could do was apologize profusely and not let go of my horrible dog as he kept trying to reach the other dog again. After a little bit, the woman started to calm down some and was so compassionate in a traumatizing moment. After she put her dog up, she came by the rental house and we exchanged contact info. I told her I’d pay for any damages on her dog. She was so sweet and asked for a hug at the end of our exchange. She explained she knows about rescues and feels for our situation. But now, I don’t know what to do with Malcolm. I’m completely trapped. I love this dog. I wouldn’t be getting out of bed if it wasn’t for him. He’s been my soul purpose in life for these past 6 months. But I don’t know what else I can do for him. Training through out the day, controlling the environment as best as I can, exercise, mental stimulation, quality food, boiling him chicken, taking the recommendations of a certified behaviorist, reading books on behavior issues and classical conditioning, the best Sniffspots, bending over backwards to protect him and thinking ahead constantly trying to keep him and others safe. But now I feel it would be selfish and irresponsible of me to keep him. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. How do you give an animal the world just to take it away? The thought of handing over the leash to someone else and watching his face turn to panic kills me.
