Fear

People talk about fear like it’s the antithesis to love. Love’s arch nemesis. Therefore a sign of weakness and something to shame. Everything love is not. But the more I open up these closed doors to my true self, the more I appreciate the fear that powered my amygdala to go into autopilot when my world was crashing and burning around me and I was too broken to drive myself. Our prefrontal cortex might be intelligent, but it is also highly vulnerable to manipulation. Even the definition of intelligence is hardly our own but a conditioned idea forced upon us by the people who are in power and by the society they’ve molded. And the heart is a fool that throws all intelligence and intuition to the wind. But it’s the primal region of our nervous system that never fails to call BULLSHIT!

If it wasn’t for fear, shooting shots down my spine my entire life triggering me to run, I would’ve stayed captive in a family that tried to brainwash me, went along with a system that convinced me to be silent and starve my soul, and stay blind to our earth that has so much more than enough as it is - and we don’t need to throw our lives away saving up for a retirement fund while digging our graves to appreciate it. It was not intelligence that saved my life, it was tapping in and holding on to the primal need to survive - it was the fear forcing me to be brave. And for that, I live my life following my amygdala...not my head nor my heart. And I’m not ashamed at all. Because in the end, all I want is my soul to make it out alive.

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