And now I’m taking back MY LIFE
And now I’m taking back my life.
You wouldn’t recommend adoption? Now I know why. Because I won’t carry your shit for you. Just because you can’t survive on your own, without the narcissist to feed off of, and you can’t hold all his rage, doesn’t mean I have to.
You shouldn’t have brought this wild orphan over to carry all your toxicity because I have nothing to lose by dumping it right back on you. And you call me the cruel one?! I’ve carried it for 37 years. Now it’s your turn.
I’m not scared to lose everything - because I was born with nothing but SCREAMS for LOVE and the people trying to shut me up with hush money, anger, and trauma.
You tried to silence me, not listening to me about the trauma of adoption, let me believe I was just mentally ill, throw money at me, send me to therapists, make me watch you yell at service people as a child, then rage at ME, put eggshells where I needed to walk, push me onto EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE else, even a school that SILENCED ME MORE WITH MORE ABUSE - where you RESPECTED the mentors - EVEN the one who told me to give him a blow job and you never said SORRY and the screams went deeper and deeper and deeper but only to get louder and louder and louder...and you still would not LISTEN.
What if someone took Evan out of your arms as a crying baby and never gave him back? You don’t think that would’ve affected him? And then taken out of the arms of another? And then pushed into the arms of people with anger problems and passive aggressiveness? And then to a cult school that I had to ESCAPE FROM TO SAVE THE LAST FUCKING BITS OF MY LIFE! I RAN AND RAN AND RAN ALL OVER THIS FUCKING COUNTRY FOR MY LIFE. And then I RAN TO THE ARMS OF A FUCKING NARCISSIST CULT YOGA STUDIO BECAUSE IT FELT CLOSE TO HOME. It’s all I knew. But now I know more. I just had to travel all over the fucking place and the whole country had to fall apart to see it.#
And I’m not done yet. This is 37 years of work. Little baby Linn, I’m coming for you.