Moving On

It might be cliche to write about footprints in the sand…but watching my footprints disappear in the sand as the waves wash over them definitely has a way of making me feel refreshed.  It’s like this unmistakable message from nature that it’s all part of life’s natural cycle…things come and then they go.  The sun sets and tomorrow is a brand new day.  But that thought led to another which led to me thinking about all the ways social media does the exact opposite.  It keeps things printed on us forever.  It keeps everything from our past permanently there - which isn’t natural for growth or change. 

I struggle with what sort of content I want to put on there.  I don’t want to be a part of the influence that portrays a perfect life by only posting the good, but I also don’t feel like everyone is safe to be vulnerable with or has earned that level of privacy and intimacy.  But if I post the hard stuff too, unlike nature’s natural process of letting things go…if it goes on social media, it’s still there…collecting anxiety like a shelf collects dust as it holds onto the past for everyone to see and be reminded about forever - including and most importantly myself. 

Also, being a sociology major and studying the effects of commenting with anonymity, cognitive dissonance, group think, foot in the door technique, the looking glass theory, and all these other social phenomenas and seeing the effects it is undeniably having on myself and society, I can’t justify staying on there anymore without feeling like I’m succumbing to herd mentality.  I don’t want an algorithm controlling what I see and puts into my brain every day.  I don’t want the people who design casinos developing ways to keep me on my phone longer.  I don’t want anybody messing with my neural pathways except for me and the people, places, and things I intentionally allow in my life - out here in the real world. 

I used to be able to be friends with conservatives - talk to all the strangers in small towns.  Maybe they thought I was a foreigner at first and had all the prejudices against me that every Asian person dreads and has had to deal with, but after we talked, face to face, I would be more open to listen to them and see where they’re coming from and they’d be less assuming and more inquisitive about me, and we would find some sort of common ground to either laugh about or then discuss the bigger issues.  But not these days - not after all the information that is being poured out onto social media - driving an even bigger wedge between our differences and filling me with more and more fear and disgust. 

It’s not that I think keeping the peace is the way to make progress, nor do I think all the fear is unwarranted, but focusing on our differences is scientifically proven not to work on changing someone’s beliefs.  And I know social media is not ALL bad.  I met one of my best and healthiest friends through Instagram.  But I think the cost of being on there is too much and the benefits of not being on there far outweigh the price.  If we really want to make a positive difference, it starts with speaking to each other face to face about what we have in common.  

I’m getting off social media.  I don’t know if I’m going to keep the shop open or not.  For the past few batches, my heart just hasn’t been in it.  Partially because my business is so reliant on social media, but also, I feel like I have the answers I’ve been searching for and am ready to let go of my past, ready to leap into something new and unknown, and move on.  Until I figure out what direction that is, my website will stay up and I will be continuing to blog on here - a place I feel safe to be open and free.  

Thank you for supporting me through the years - in more ways than one.  Maybe I’ll see some of you somewhere on down the road.