A Message From a Cactus
There is a rare and endangered cactus that grows exclusively to this area - Brady’s Pincushion. They’re small and unobtrusive, laying close to the ground and blend well into the rocks from which they grow. But if you’re lucky enough to have one catch your eye, they have a mesmerizing energy…like a twinkling little innocent spirit looking up and saying, “You found me!” in the most excited and joyful way you can imagine. And if you’re lucky to find a cluster of them, it’s nothing short of magical. They look like a little galaxy tucked into the rocks…like a bed of stars…hypnotizing and intoxicating.
I came across some a few days ago and noticed that some thoughtful humans put rocks around them for protection. So when I found a couple of babies that hadn’t been found yet, I did the same, carefully placing rocks around them like I was building them a nest. The next day I returned to check on them and some thoughts started flowing through my mind so profoundly, so clearly like a message sent from a dream. I had to write the words down as they came through. It almost felt like the cactus were speaking to me. And ever since, I’ve felt this calm over me and forgiveness of myself for some lingering shame and guilt that I’ve been carrying and unable to shake. Maybe they were thanking me by leaving me with this powerful message. This was the message:
Who terrorized you and didn’t let you speak? Who shamed you for thinking? Exploring? Trying? Falling? Kept you from getting back up? Standing up for yourself? For making choices? For taking risks? For living? For being human? For being imperfect? For being different? For being authentic? For being you? For speaking your truth? Who stole your power from you?
Was it your parents? A lover? A friend? A teacher? A boss? The government? Society? All of the above? So that eventually, you learned to terrorize yourself, too? Pick away at yourself? And others?
Have you reached the point that you can’t take it anymore? And realized the only thing that can come between you and that shame and guilt in your head…that shame and guilt for being exactly who you are…the voice of destruction and self hatred…is you? You’re the only one who has the power to stop that voice…whether it’s coming from someone else or inside you.
By submitting to it, and listening to it, and believing it, has the pain caught up with you, yet? Have you reached the point where you finally can’t take it anymore? Have you gone in there and wrestled with that voice and pinned it to the ground and said, No more! Then this kinder and more patient voice will start to bloom. One that isn’t even a voice, really, as much as it is a listening ear. A curious mind. An inquisitive heart. More understanding and forgiving. Accepting and loving. When you finally recognize that you deserve more, only then will you also realize that other people do, too. More self acceptance is more acceptance of others but is only possible when you hold the power and the ability to stop and say, No more! You can’t cross here if you try to hurt me, steal from me, take my energy, and exploit me. Being able to be compassionate with yourself and to others starts with saying No more, to all the voices that are not respectful to you - whether it be yours or anybody else’s.
A little classroom for boundaries, self preservation, and love.